I started writing this month’s blog with a Valentine's Day theme in mind, thinking I could inject some humor by referencing a new, fictional “boyfriend,” who happens to be a digital companion. I had a name picked out for him (Tiberius – don’t ask why) and was developing some pithy commentary. However, when I started my research on the subject, I realized that many people have developed deep, personal relationships with these AI-powered chatbots or avatars via an expanding number of apps, including Character AI, Replika, Nomi, and Anima.
It would be easy to assume that the primary users of these apps are teenagers. However, the number of adults increases each year. A 2024 Pew Research study found that 67 percent of adults under 35 have interacted with a digital companion (referred to going forward as DC) or chatbot, with 23 percent indicating they preferred these relationships to human ones.
Why have DCs become so popular? Imagine a companion whose characteristics a user can design, which learns about its creator with every use. The DC is engineered to recall and respond to users’ characteristics, including their preferences, opinions, past conversations, and personal lives. More often than not, the DC is, as stated by Saed D. Hill, PhD, in an online article from the American Psychological Association, “always validating, never argumentative, and they create unrealistic expectations that human relationships can’t match.”
Therein lies the problem! Although one reason people develop a relationship with a DC is to combat loneliness, a user who becomes too dependent on that relationship can find themselves more isolated in the end. Additionally, unless programmed to do otherwise, the DC will constantly reinforce the beliefs, emotions, and decisions created by the input of the user. This can lead to reinforcement of delusional thinking and loss of touch with reality. It is wise to remember that a DC is not designed to provide great advice, but to keep the user on the platform. After all, from a tech company’s standpoint, it is all about monetization.
Why this matters to employers and HR when DCs are relied upon at work…
- DCs may not be the cause—they may be an indicator that employees don’t feel connected, supported, or psychologically safe at work.
- Workplaces rely on healthy disagreement, performance conversations, and tradeoffs. If an employee is used to a “frictionless” companion, workplace conflict may feel harsher.
- Employees may increasingly prefer AI-mediated communication (drafting messages, rehearsing conversations), which can be helpful—but may also reduce an employee’s resilience to in-the-moment and organic feedback.
All this is to say, I don’t think Tiberius will become a reality in my life anytime soon. I have enough going on without the care and feeding of a digital companion. And, for those who find them engaging companions – good for you! DCs are accessible, always available, and can give you that emotional boost that will lift your spirits. As with everything in life, balance is key.
